Of cats and dogs we have our share,
That's why our house is full of hair.
House-proud folks must think we're mad,
They just don't know the fun we've had.
Though money-wise they keep us poor.
They'll keep the Wolf from our front door.
That they'll protect us you can bet.
We've never had one call here yet.

Some of our dogs have been shown at Crufts.
We've twelve "Lassie" Collies, known as Roughs.
Apart from ten Borders, we have just one,
She is a "Spollie" we keep for fun.
I must explain, the little "Spollie"
In other words a "Spitz-Cum-Collie".
Her Mum and Dad were indiscreet,
And the tiny offspring were so sweet.

Outside their home, a sign said HONEY.
My wife called in there, with some money.
She soon forgot the sticky stuff,
When she saw that tiny ball of fluff.
That was how she spent her money.
Now we've got a bitch called Honey.
"Do you have boarders?" I hear you say.
No ours are NOT BOARDERS, they're here to stay.

Not just for a week, while the family's not here.
We hope they'll be with us for many a year.
They're the sort you see at "Trials" with sheep.
Exceptionally clever they're, a pleasure to keep.
uch brighter than I am, that much I can see.
If I were as clever, the dogs would keep me.

At agility tests they're the finest you'll see,
As I'm sure you must know, if you watch T.V.
When we're in bed, and just can't sleep,
We always count Collies instead of sheep.
They're Millie, Molly, Mandy, Katie, Kelly, Kim.
Timmy, Tony, Tina, Jenny, Jamie, Jim.
Dazzle, Dawn, and Wincey, Emma, Prince and Honey,
Bluebell, Sam and Little Prince, therefore little money.

Though we've so many, four-legged pets,
We seldom have reason to visit the Vets.
We've Bluebell who waves and Poppy who talks.
Wish we had more time to take them for walks.
They've lots of space to run and play.
At six o'clock, that's twice a day,
I make my rounds, with rake and pan.
Why do they call me "Scooper Man?".

Now as for cats, we have a few.
There's Witchie, Moggie, Snoopy too.
And Damien, when he was small,
The naughtiest kitten of them all,
Would suddenly, and without cause,
Grab your hand with teeth and claws.
Seven years on, and as many lives.
Still with us he lives and thrives.

Like good wine matured with age,
He's mellowed now, no fits of rage.
A fluffy lump of ginger fur'
He'll lay contentedly and purr.
Cuddles as his name implies,
Has long black fur, and golden eyes.
He'll cuddle up and purr and purr,
Till round his mouth he soaks his fur.

His sister Moggie's just as bad.
More loving cats, we've never had.
Lostie’s a wanderer, a prodigal cat,
But when she returns she’s healthy and fat.
She goes missing for weeks, in spite of our fears,
Once we’ve given her up, she then reappears.
Gismo’s a grumpy half Persian cat,
But we’re fond of her in spite of that.

So many tales, two more to tell,
Not just two tails four hooves as well,
The last remark you'll guess of course, is
A reference to a pair of horses.
My son and his friend each have a mare,
When mucking out each does their share.
Laurie's is the light one near the barn,
Always well groomed, her name is Tarn.
The dark one is Dreamy, His Friend's of course.
Another smart well turned out horse.

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